My Deserted Island Feature

My Deserted Island Feature by Holly Martin

Today we have the very funny Holly Martin telling us all about who and why she has chosen her fictional characters to take with her on my island.

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So I’m stranded on a desert island, warm, turquoise waters, forget-me-not blue sky, white sands and palm trees, with five hunky men to keep me company, this sounds like bliss to me. I shall have one to peel me grapes, (because of course the island will have grapes) one to fan me if it gets too hot, and three of them to rub sun tan lotion into my body, yes we were marooned with sun tan lotion, it is my fantasy desert island after all.
Ok, so I’ll probably need food at some point, and shelter too, so I guess I’m going to have to give my companions some serious thought rather than just choose them for them wonderful manliness.

Firstly with me on this island is Bear Grylls. The man can hunt, fish, cook, he can tell me which seeds and berries to eat, he can make drinking water, he can build a shelter. This man has survived in the most extreme conditions. Before you go off at me saying he’s not a book character, I beg to differ. He has been in too many books to count. You only need to type his name into Amazon to see how many hundreds of books the man has written, or advised on. Plus, if you want to be really picky he’s also written a load of kids books called Mission Survival, about a survival expert called Beck Granger, which is obviously based on him, he has immortalised himself as a book character so I rest my case. Plus, as a vision of rugged manliness, he ticks the box. I mean just look at the way he is holding this branch. Grrrr!!

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Edward Cullen is also going to be stranded with me, because the man is a walking ice block. This island is going to get hot and I’m going to need someone to cool me down. He can stroke me to sleep in the hot, sweaty nights. He has great stamina as well, which means that he can stay awake all night and… keep me safe from scary tropical spiders, of course, what were you thinking? Edward is a great hunter, whilst Bear is searching for edible caterpillars, Edward can bring back a whole pig/cow/horse/crocodile to eat. Plus Edward can swim great distances, if it all gets too much he can swim to land to bring back help, or at the very least bring back a bacon sandwich when I get sick of Bear’s seeds and bugs he keeps bringing me to eat. Now I fell in love with Edward when reading Twilight, but fell out of love with him when he was cast by Robert Pattinson (cue thousands of girls sending me hate mail) so I’ve provided a picture of another handsome vampire instead. Hi Eric, *waves madly.

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My next friend is Galadriel from Lord of the Rings. Have you seen Rivendell and Lothlorien? I think that was made with some serious Elfy magic and although Bear would be very good at creating some kind of dwelling from leaves and branches, I think I’d miss my home comforts a bit. Galadriel, one of the strongest, most powerful of the elves would certainly be able to produce something like this on our little desert island.

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Plus when she gets angry, no one is going to mess with her. Any marauding pirates that get past Captain Jack, zombies that have taken over the world, Edward’s Volturi pals that come looking to kill him again or any other mutant, monsters, werewolves that turn up at the island, will take one look at this and run a mile.

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Captain Jack Sparrow is my next friend on the island. This man seems to escape death more times than anyone else. He is great at swashbuckling and sword fighting, so if any other pirates come ashore he can fight them off. He always seems to have a cunning plan. He could charm the birds from the trees, which would be handy for dinner time, plus let us not forget how he escaped from Rumrunner’s Isle after Barbosa left him marooned there to die. You’ve forgotten? “Well, I’ll tell ye. He waded out into the shallows and he waited there three days and three nights till all manner of sea creatures came acclimated to his presence. And on the fourth morning, he roped himself a couple of sea turtles, lashed them together and made a raft.” So if Edward, can’t bring back help, perhaps if he’s too busy missing Bella, then we can escape via Captain Jack’s sea turtle raft. And before any of you argue over Captain Jack Sparrow not being a book character, I beg to differ again. After the success of the films, Disney produced novelisations of the films, so Jack is definitely a book character. Plus he looks like this so case closed.

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And finally my last friend on this desert island would be Falcor from The Never Ending Story by Michael Ende. Seriously, it’s a flying dragon, what’s not to love.

He’s warm and cuddly too. If Edward gets too cold to lie next to, especially in the cooler winter months, Falcor would keep me warm. Plus he can take us back and forth to the mainland or take back some of these other friends when I get bored of them and swap them for some other book characters, Dumbledore, the greatest wizard that ever lived, he would be interesting to talk to and has magical powers, Jacques from Winter Wonderland by Belinda Jones simply because he’s yummy and would take care of me and Mr Darcy just purely so he can re-enact this moment for me every day.

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Don’t worry I’d only have five characters at a time, so clearly no rules have been broken here.
No sea turtles were harmed during the making of this article.

Holly Martin won the Belinda Jones Travel Club short story competition with her story One Hundred Proposals, it was published in the Sunlounger anthology in July this year. In October her fantasy action adventure book The Sentinel will be published on Amazon and her romance novel, The Guestbook, is out later this year.

Genius Holly, even though you clearly cheated!

Tomorrow we have Lauren Howard.

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